The Rebellion Newsletter is for people leaders who want to quit living by all of the 'rules' that we are taught in society, make their own rules to pave their own way to success in their lives. We cover all topics (from the 'shoulds' in work and relationships to getting after big goals) with a side of enhancing coaching skills and growing our businesses. Each newsletter has a deep dive topic of breaking one of soceity's rule as well as a quotes and notes section with takeaways from books I've read and how we can apply it all to our daily life.
What Growing Up in Poverty Did to My Mindset
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Hey Reader, Welcome back to your daily dose of breaking life's rules. This week is a BIG one for me. As this goes live I will have just flown across the world in a LAY DOWN BED for my VERY FIRST TIME. These are the types of things that I used to dream about but believed were not for me. That I didn't deserve comfort. That I definitely didn't deserve luxury. Today I am sharing with you all about how growing up in poverty affected my mindset, and what shifts I've made to get to where I am now - happily flying to Italy on a lay down bed. ✈️🍷🫒🍝 Today In the Rebellion
I recently announced closed down my health coaching program, WholeYOUniversity, that ran for 5 years! It's a program I’ve loved, one that has gotten 100s of women (and some men) massive life long results, and also supported the life that I wanted to live. And I want to share with you the 10 things that I have learned in opening, running and closing it! This is Lesson #5: Money is just Money. AKA breaking the statistics that my childhood gave me. Money. My oh my what a freakin heavy thing for so many people. It truly seems that people everywhere have money issues. I rarely find someone who doesn’t. My husband Jon, so luckily doesn’t. And when I say luckily, I mean luckily for ME. I have learned so much just watching him move/be/interact/look at/think about/feel toward money and it is so helpful to have this positive example in my life. I grew up in poverty. Money was SO SCARCE for us. It truly was. It wasn’t a 'scarce mindset' thing. I remember watching my mom not eat and just smoke a cigarette and when one of us kids didn’t finish something, she would eat that. I remember hearing my mom cry because things were so hard. So when I got my first opportunity to make money in 3rd grade, I would put it in her purse after work. I remember the times we would buy school clothes and my mom would pay part in cash, number crunch how much she could put on a credit card, calculate what was left in her bank account so she didn’t bounce that check while we went to put a couple of things back. I remember one of my birthdays our car getting repossessed in front of the friends I had over and a friend’s parent coming to drive us to the movies. I remember my mom filing for bankruptcy while I was in high school and me wondering if it would ruin our lives. Until I was making my own money in my own teaching career, I, by every technical measure, lived in poverty. And what has been the hardest part 👉🏼 leaving it. There is so much weight in what I deserve or don’t deserve. What I am allowed to have or not have. The money thoughts that wrecked havoc in my brain were: 💸 People were afraid of it 💸 There was never enough 💸 I didn’t deserve to have any 💸 If I had any, I had to work really hard for it. 💸 If I ever got any it would disappear and never come back. 💸 Debt was the most evil and would spiral out of control. And naturally, I brought ALL of these mindset thoughts into my adult life and into my business. In being an entrepreneur it sure added a layer of difficulty. I struggled with:
The one positive money perspective that my childhood has given me is that - No matter what could happen with my money now, that my life will NEVER EVER possibly be that bad again. I'm thankful that past Kayla put in the work to deal with her money thoughts. I am so thankful for investing in coaches, allowing myself to be vulnerable and reading books that brought me insight. The Biggest lessons I've learned about money: ✅ It is literally just a tool. ✅ It ISN’T value, but it can represent people’s values. ✅ It is a cycle, a flow, a give and take, a back and forth ✅ It literally isn’t about me and is separate from me. ✅ Everyone gets to have it ✅ It’s meant for things that we need AND things that we want! Knowing that money was just something that helped me get what I wanted out of life was mind blowing and so life changing for me. That it didn't have value to my worth or make me who I was or more commonly who I wasn't. All of the learnings above released me to live without the fear of money and it changed so much for me. I learned that as I started to try this on, that money was for me. I was able to own the condo we did, the cars that we did, the clothes that we do, eat the food that we want. It is for me. And that once my needs were met, I do get to make my life better by also just getting things because of JOY. I could use money as a tool to also just bring me ✨JOY✨ That was not only ok, but it is a great thing. Especially since I believe the point of life is to enjoy everyday - I can use money to help me make that happen. It just made how I showed up day to day easier because in our world/country - everything in it has to do with money - so every interaction took me back to that. I will say though - just like everything that I have learned about thought work - there is an upkeep to it. When we first moved to NY, I could feel the scarce thoughts come back up to the surface. But the more that I deal with them, the more I can get through them quicker, the more my life continues to up level. And that in itself is how the work continues. Awareness and strategies to keep me getting through it. Because I want more up levels in my life. And I plan to get them. Listen to this learning (with more detail and commentary) on the podcast:
Notes & Quotes To Noodle On 🧠Something that I think is really interesting is how my view of money has changed over time. I realize that as I grew my money thoughts and worked on not creating such an emotional heaviness around it - that I was able to really release judgment on PEOPLE WITH MONEY. As I was reading Rich as F*ck by Amanda Frances - it dawned on me that I would NEVER have been able to fully internalize what I was reading if I read it even a year earlier than I did. I think re-reading books is so valuable because as I've grown and progressed, I have a different perspective and get insights in a new way. My biggest takeaway from Rich as F*ck is that 'there are so many other realities available'. Growing up in poverty and being there so long, made me think it was just the way things were for me. But that couldn't be more FALSE. One thing that my coach asked me one time was. - if there were magic around you, how else could money come to you - and it really truly opened my eyes to see how it can and could and will happen - and also identify ways that I wrote of previously as evidence how money flows. And that so many of us are out of the practice of actually asking ourselves what we TRULY want - without the limitation of having money. And this doesn't mean - if you had all the money in the world what would you do with it. It means if money were not an option, what would you really truly do with your life. What are your deepest desires and how can you look at those and use those to fuel you and know that your desires are worth creating. We Should All Be Millionaires by Rachel Rodgers is another fave - and I will probably read this book every year as a reminder to myself that we are WORTH whatever our desires are. And she describes how to start making million dollar decisions - which really means that we have to start making decisions that make us feel like million dollar women! What are the things you THINK the millionaire version of you would do? Be like? So much of that we have the capability to start doing now! 💰Does she get dressed everyday a certain way? 💰Does she eat food that makes her feel good? 💰Does she make time to sleep? 💰Does she ask for help when she needs it and delegate away? Sure as shit she does! (or at least my millionaire identity does) Which means we can start practicing these things today. It can be easy to fall out of making sure I do these things - specifically for me, getting dressed is one that always makes me feel like a million bucks but it is super easy to just wear something comfy to sit at my desk. These daily reminders help me remember that I am WORTH MY DREAMS. Me feeling good is everything. And these two books help me do that. Money Thoughts for Coaches & Small Biz PeepsI have found that a thought that I used to have, and have seen a lot of other coaches and small business owners have, is that - we can't go spending our money frivolously because our clients will see what we are spending it on and judge us. 🥴 The thought is pretty paralyzing - it literally stops us from living out our best lives possible and instead puts us in a state/feeling of fear. Neither are things that we want. A couple of thoughts that have served me to get through this:
If any of those thoughts serve you, take them, if they don't I challenge you to come up with some! And I would love to hear them. What are the thoughts that serve you when you feel judged about using your money? Hit reply and let me know! Thank you so much for allowing me the space of this newsletter to be vulnerable and share my learnings and experiences - even some of the hardest ones, with you! It means a lot to me to be able to share where I have come from and what I have created to do and be cheered on to where I am going now. More than anything though, my goal is to INSPIRE YOU to create big things in your life. And all the things you want in your life. So this week, let's get after it! Later Alligator, Kayla p.s. there are TWO ways to work with me. 1: Coaches College is my signature coaching skills program where I teach coaches autonomy based coaching strategies that will get their clients better and faster results and get the coach more money while doing it. You can get on the waitlist for the next cohort HERE! 2: Want to get my hands on your brain, business and life? Hit reply and inquire about 1:1 coaching availability. |
Kayla Jury
The Rebellion Newsletter is for people leaders who want to quit living by all of the 'rules' that we are taught in society, make their own rules to pave their own way to success in their lives. We cover all topics (from the 'shoulds' in work and relationships to getting after big goals) with a side of enhancing coaching skills and growing our businesses. Each newsletter has a deep dive topic of breaking one of soceity's rule as well as a quotes and notes section with takeaways from books I've read and how we can apply it all to our daily life.
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