Hey Reader, Goal setting has been my favorite forever. Like anything, over time, the way that I do it has changed. But what I have come to realize - is that if I want to set REALLY BIG GOALS, I had to change the way that I approached my goal setting. I'm sharing with you my exact process of reaching big goals today!

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If this is a time in your life where you are trying to do big things, things that feel scary - then you have to read this week's newsletter (well read all of them duh haha).

Today In the Rebellion

• 10 Lessons I've Learned Running a Half a Million Dollar Coaching Business, LESSON 3. How I Learned to Set Big Goals (and actually reach them)
• Notes & Quotes To Noodle On
• Two Underrated Goal Considerations

I recently announced that I am closing down the coaching program, WholeYOUniversity, that I have been running for 5 years! It's a program I’ve loved, one that has gotten 100s of women (and some men) massive life long results, and also supported the life that I wanted to live by making me almost half a million dollars. And I want to share with you the 10 things that I have learned in opening, running and closing that coaching program!

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This is lesson #:3 How I Changed the Way I Set Goals

AKA Breaking every goal setting rule there is 🙃

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When I first started in my business allll of my goals were about getting the next client or reaching a certain dollar amount. Which makes sense.

I remember my first goal was to get 5 clients a month, when I hit it I was astounded. I remember then wanting to hit my first 5k month and when I did, I treated myself to getting my hair professionally done.

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And on and on it went. Making goals and just making them bigger financially.

I had a coach one time that was like, how much do you want to make - and I just pulled a number out of my ass, like 200k a year. 200k sounds like the right thing to do after hitting 100k, right? That is what everyone else is doing. It seems like a benchmark to do the next even 100?

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Spoiler alert -I didn’t make that goal that year. That year I think I made 120k which was 25k more than what I had made the year before (which of course went un-celebrated, and you know from last week's newsletter that is a big no no).

The problem is that goal was pulled out of my ass 🥴

It took a while to realize, the way I was setting A BIG goal was the problem. And there were two specific things that needed to change:

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1️⃣ I chose an uneducated made up goal - I know delusion is a thing - and I believe in that. BUT there is an actual method to reaching a delusional goal. Setting this goal felt like just a crazy shot in the dark.

When you’re making a delusional goal - it cant feel like a shot in the dark. The point of being delusional is that you are CERTAIN you can make it happen. If you aren’t certain you can make it happen, then you aren’ being delulu - you are just saying words. You have to have conviction and belief in your ability to create it.

(I will go over my exact process at the end of this!)

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2️⃣ I didn’t see what reaching that BIG GOAL was going to look like and feel like.

I didn’t think about how I wanted to FEEL. I just thought about the result, the milestone of hitting 200k. I didn’t think about if I wanted to feel spacious everyday. Confident everyday. Put together. Organized. Intelligent. Powerful. Serene. Calm. Loved. Empowered. Etc.

So then when the time came to work on my goals - I wasn’t focused on how I wanted to feel, therefor I felt pretty shitty. Everything was just focused on that one made up, uncertain, obscure goal that didn’t create the wonderful feelings I really wanted in my actual day to day life.

I don’t know how many times I’ve questioned - why would I do I even want to make this money. And when I am questioning that - of course I am not going to reach the goal. I am in doubt. I am not in belief. I am not even SURE that I want it.

That certainty has been a key piece in me reaching any goal ever.

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So NOW instead of setting goals based on a typical milestone that the world things I 🚩should 🚩 I base them on how I want to feel and grow certainty there.

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📝 Here's the process:

🪄First - I regularly ask myself - if my magic wand collection actually worked, what would I turn it into?

💭Then I get realllllll clear on that vision - what would my day look like? What would I feel like when I woke up? What would I feel like when I went to bed? THEN - what in my life would make me feel this way?

It’s this type of dreaming that helped me see that I wanted to move to NYC - because I saw the access the people that I wanted to meet and the type of things I wanted to do everyday.

It is this dreaming that made me realize that I wanted to sunset WholeYOU - because I envisioned a different version of me who taught on different subjects that would make me feel empowered, energized and intelligent everyday!

So then, after you have done the imaging of the ENTIRE picture, including your feelings THEN you work through the steps. My favorite questions for this is: In order for (insert big goal) to happen, what would have to be true?

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The answer to that question - are the action steps that you need to work on creating.

1. You believe in something crazy and big and amazing.
2. You do the work to believe that it is for you, that you are worthy of it (my sticking point with money etc)
3. You ask yourself, what would need to be true in order for xyz to happen
4. Then you work on making those things true - those things become your action step.
5. Then I get coaching on it - because staying in certainty has been SO MUCH easier when I have an objective observer around me to help me.

This is the process that I am going to use to set any and all big goals from now on.

Listen to this learning (with more detail and commentary) on the podcast:

Notes & Quotes To Noodle On 🧠

When I think about big goals, I can't help but think about a stellar book called The Big Leap, by Gay Hendrix.

Reading this book made my brain have so man 'ahas' and 'oh thats why I do that' and 'oh shoot, thats me' type of feelings. It helped me see where I was holding myself back from reaching the goals that I wanted - even if I wasn't doing it consciously.

The premise of the book is that we have an 'upper limit' or a top capacity of what we think we can achieve and what is meant for us, and that we so often will reach that limit and not push past it.

But in order to reach big goals, I've realized, we HAVE to become aware of these upper limits and we have to actively break through them - otherwise we will choose to settle for what we have OR accidentally by sabotaging ourselves to stay below that limit.

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There are four hidden barriers that Hendricks lays out:

❌ Feeling Fundamentally Flawed

meaning that there is 'something wrong with you' and if there is something wrong with you, you will never get it right.

❌ Disloyalty and Abandonment

if you reach your full potential it will cause you to leave people behind and it creates guilt with your success - so you avoid said success.

❌ Believing More Success = Bigger Burden

self explanatory - you think making more money, having a bigger home, living your better life will be more work for you and the people around you.

❌ The Crime of Outshining

you are worried that to do better would make them look bad and feel bad.

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Not everyone will feel ALL of these, but usually people feel at least one around goal setting toward something BIG!

If you are unsure if you can spot upper limiting in your life think about when you:

worry(especially when it has no actual grounds to be worrisome)

blame/criticize (anytime to you or anyone else)

deflect (not accept a compliment or only point out what is negative)

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These are just some signs that you are avoiding an upper limit issue and sabotaging yourself from breaking through and moving to the next level! When you can have awareness of what you are doing, and that you are holding yourself back, all you have to do next is - be aware and change your thought.

If you find your barrier is that your big goal will create more of a burden, find evidence for all the ways it wont be a burden.

If you are thinking that there is something wrong with you and it is not for you, create a list of evidence of all the ways IT IS for you or IT CAN BE for you!

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What is amazing - is that the upper limit issue is one of those things that you think you break through - but if we are doing life 'right' (IMO) then we will constantly be hitting upper limits again and again because we keep growing and trying for new things all of the time.

Two Underrated Goal Considerations!

Something that I have realized over time in being a big goal setter myself and in helping 100s of people reach their goals is that there are two ways outside of our own planning that we can do to help us reach our goals that are SO underrated!

1️⃣ Our environment - Who are you around? What do you see? Being around people who inspire us and uplift us is key. If you have friends in your life who are adding to your doubt, or questioning what you are doing - it is going to be much harder to stay motivated and focused around them.

But not only that - but also, what about your physical space. I have learned to prioritize my workspace/office space - because when I don't - my inspiration tanks, my emotions get all over the place.

Who are the people in your life that make you feel like you can do anything? Stick with them?

What physical environment makes you feel like you can do anything? Make the place you are in the most often the most reminiscent of that.

2️⃣ Your Stakeholders - WE ARE SO BAD AT ASKING FOR HELP! But our stakeholders - the important people in our lives who are invested in us - partners, friends, family - they want to see us win and they want to help us do it. Ask your husband to make dinner so you can work late, ask your friend to make you leave at a certain time so you can get good rest before your presentation tomorrow. We want to help each other, and all we have to do is give a clear ask and we will get what we need in return.

This last week I got an IG DM from a friend that said that I had inspired them to take action on their BIG DREAMS, and I realized, nothing makes me happier in the world than hearing that.

I hope that this weeks newsletter puts some fire in your pants and helps you see the possibility of it so much that you take an action step toward that goal today, tomorrow (whatever day soon!). And when you do - send me an email for some celebrating!

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Later Alligator,

Kayla

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p.s. there are TWO ways to work with me.

1: Coaches College is my signature coaching skills program where I teach coaches autonomy based coaching strategies that will get their clients better and faster results and get the coach more money while doing it. You can get on the waitlist for the next cohort HERE!​

2: Want to get my hands on your brain, business and life? Hit reply and inquire about 1:1 coaching availability.

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