Hey Rebel,

No matter who you are, what career you have, whether you are introverted or extroverted, community is a BIG part of who we are as humans. Having a community around you to encourage you, motivate you and support you - I believe is the key to reaching your goals in life.

Today's newsletter is about just that. Even if you aren't a coach, or even if you don't have a community you are trying to build, the ideas today still apply to your friendships, coworkers, family and romantic relationships!

I'm excited to see what you take away!

Today In the Rebellion

• 10 Lessons I've Learned Running a Half a Million Dollar Coaching Business, LESSON 6.
• Notes & Quotes To Noodle On

I recently announced that I closed down my health coaching program, WholeYOUniversity, that ran for 5 years! It's a program I’ve loved, one that has gotten 100s of women (and some men) massive life long results, and also supported the life that I wanted to live. And I want to share with you the 10 things that I have learned in opening, running and closing it!

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This is Lesson #6: Community makes Everything better.

Aka breaking the 'how to be a biz owner' rules.

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Community does truly make everything better. I have ALWAYS believed and said that you can make anything happen with the right support.

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So when I started coaching and building out my coaching programs, I knew this was something that I wanted to make important.

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I have been part of so many communities and the energy is so beneficial - when times are tough - there is always someone who can help bring you up.

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I wanted to build that for my clients. Not only for my clients, but for me too.

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And this is where the rule breaking comes in - There is this ideas as a coach or leader that we are not to share and be vulnerable about ourselves. That we are there just to guide and to have our clients follow our instructions. But I couldn't personally disagree with that more.

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There is an art to being vulnerable and allowing yourself to be PART of the community back. When we lead by that example our clients feel safer and they see how they can participate too.

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I know that not everyone feels like building a community is easy - especially in the coaching world because our clients are working on vulnerable things.

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When you can scaffold that emotion, feeling and vulnerability, not only do your clients go further - but you feel different too. You become more greatly connected to them in a way that helps the coaching that you do for them. They open up even more which means the coaching can be even deeper.

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⚡️Building a supportive community has been a HUGE way that I have enhanced my client experience and results.⚡️

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So here are the 4 things I did to build a bomb ass community:

Create a space and normalize using it

• I have a place (for WholeYOU I used slack) where my clients had channels they could chat in. And I normalized using them by modeling using them. If I asked a question in there for everyone, I would be the first to answer it!

Make them feel heard and that their thoughts are valuable

• When someone figured something out for themselves, I would encourage them to share it and describe how valuable it would be to do so! Ex. ‘Sarah is struggling with that too, you should totally post in struggles and share with her how you solved that’

Hold my boundaries

• I had a rule that only my 1:1 clients were allowed to DM me personally, so when someone did, I said ‘I am going to bring this back to the public channel and answer there’ then the convo would happen there.

Promote interactions

• In coaching calls I would also create prompts and instructions for people to go and post in the channels - I would do clear requests like ‘ that is a massive win, go share it in the wins channel so we can all celebrate’

Once I was consistent with these things, the community grew and flourished.

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My newbie clients get to see the veterans and get inspired by the possibility of where they can go. And it helps my veteran clients see the newbs and remember and be motivated by how far they’ve come.

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No matter who was in the community, where they were in their journey, they were supported, seen, understood and encouraged to get after it every single day.

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And that is one of the things that made WholeYOU the absolute best - and one of the things that you can do too!

Listen to this learning (with more detail and commentary) on the podcast:

Notes & Quotes To Noodle On 🧠

I had a hard time deciding what book to cover today - should I share about Quiet Leadership? Because this is about how you lead your community? Or should I share Daring Greatly, because this is about vulnerability with yourself as the coach and with your community members to be part of the community.

Daring Greatly, the Brene Brown classic, made the most sense to me.

When I first read this book, I'll admit that I was disappointed. I got half way through and was like 'this entire book is about vulnerability!' 🤣 I don't know why I was thinking it would be about creating big goals or things like that.

But in retrospect, when I absorbed more of what I had read, I realize the truth is that - in order to reach our big goals, we do have to be vulnerable. I think at the initial time of reading this book, I didn't realize that I wasn't being vulnerable ENOUGH with myself to see the real true goals that I wanted to achieve. There has to be a sense of vulnerability in order to even ADMIT what it is that you truly WANT. And I wasn't doing that.

One of the things that she notes in this book is that we are all hard wired for connection. And with what I have seen and felt about communities, I can only believe this is the truth.

And that in order to feel that connection we love to see the openness and honest truth in others. BUT the kicker is that we are afraid to let them see it in us because we don't believe that our truth is enough.

"We need to feel trust to be vulnerable, we need to be vulnerable to feel trust."

Which is why - creating a safe space and providing validation in that space has been so important to me in my communities. So that people can see the WORTH of their truth too!

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We as humans, she says, have a tendency to define ourselves by what we are NOT vs what we are.

And in order to show up and be our whole true selves we have to:

✨ cultivate authenticity - let go of what people think

✨ cultivate meaningful work - let go of self doubt and 'supposed tos'

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Knowing all of this makes me feel that it is our duty as coaches, leaders, and service providers to also be builders of communities where our people can be vulnerable.

More communities like that mean more people who are moving toward their best and highest level self!

I challenge you this week, whether it is in your office, with your clients, with your team or your partner. Practice a little vulnerability and sharing and do a little validation of someone else's thoughts. See how it feels and see how it makes you feel. Report back!

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Later Alligator,

Kayla

p.s. there are TWO ways to work with me.

1: Coaches College is my signature coaching skills program where I teach coaches autonomy based coaching strategies that will get their clients better and faster results and get the coach more money while doing it. You can get on the waitlist HERE!​

2: Want to get my hands on your brain, business and life? Hit reply and inquire about 1:1 coaching availability.

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